The Name Game: NBA Edition

Basketball is one of the most popular sports in the United States of America, and is increasing in popularity around the world as well. It’s players have a wide variety of colorful names and personalities, and so do it’s coaches and legends. But at the same time I think it’d be fun to change one or two letters from a player’s existing name, and make it something much cooler, or at least funnier. So with all that said, enjoy this edition of the Name Game.

Player: LeBron James
Team: Cleveland Cavaliers
Position: SF
New Name: LeBron Lames

LeBron James is the best player in the NBA and, possibly, the second best player of all time. He was coronated as soon as he reached high school, and has helped lead the NBA to new heights in popularity.

LeBron Lames definitely wasn’t self assured enough to give himself the nickname of the King, and the relentless teasing he endured throughout his life is enough to prevent him from being taken number 1 overall. Also, every single time he messes up in a game the announcers make a horrible pun about it being lame.

“Another lame duck pass by Lames get’s stolen by the defense”

Player: Stephen (Steph) Curry
Team: Golden State Warriors
Position: PG
New Name: Stephen Jurry

Steph Curry is the babyfaced assassin who decimated the league for two straight MVP awards, Steph Jurry is the best defense attorney this side of the Mississippi.

Juror 1 (In his head): “Wow they have a bunch of witnesses who saw these two boys driving away from the Sac O’ Suds right after hearing two gun shots”

Stephen Jurry: “Are we to believe that water absorbs into grains faster in your kitchen? Are these magic grits?”

Juror 1 to a friend: “wow this guys good”.

Scene.

The Stephen Jurry Ones

Player: Kentavious Caldwell-Pope
Team: Detroit Pistons
Position: SG
New Name: Kentavious Caldwell-Nope

Caldwell-Pope is the 3-D guy for the Detroit Pistons, he’s a pretty solid, if unspectacular NBA player. Kentavious Caldwell-Nope is a side character in Wayans Brothers spoof movies and the love interest of a side character in the latest Madea movie.

Player: Isiah Thomas
Team: Detroit Pistons
Position: PG
New Name: Isaiah Thomas

Isiah Thomas is the Hall of Fame point guard for the Detroit Pistons. His teams stymied Jordan’s Bulls in their early years, and epitomized 80’s NBA basketball. Isaiah Thomas is the 5 foot 9 starting point guard for the Boston Celtics. He’s well on his way to becoming the best (officially) under 6 footer in NBA history. Hey wait a second…

 

The First Middle Schooler in NBA History

Player: Larry Bird
Team: Boston Celtics
Position: SF
New Name: Barry Bird

Larry Bird is the Hall of Fame small forward for the Boston Celtics, his rivalry with Magic Johnson and the Lakers helped save the NBA and propel it to new heights.

Barry Bird is the smooth talking voice of Jazz 107.9 the Groove.

Coach: Phil Jackson
Team: Chicago Bulls/Los Angeles Lakers
New Name: Lil Jackson

Phil Jackson has a bunch of rings, accomplishments of money. (His proudest achievement is probably destroying the Knicks even more). He’s been very successful but isn’t a very likable person.

Lil Jackson is the grammy award winning rapper. His early songs were very successful because he had one of the seminal talents as a producer, and he eventually lucked into another. He’s recently tried his hand as a talent manager, and despite finding one early success, he just can’t seem to get anything else right as he relies way to heavily on his old, washed up system.

Look at the Mean Mug

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